My Dad, John Fulton passed away at the young at heart age of 88 on May 17, 2022. He was my tennis coach, mentor and relentless supporter of my artistic pursuits. He and I shared a love of words and I became a writer and an illustrator because of him. When I was a young child, he’d already written a novelette, Shallbelove, a love story set in the galaxy. At night, he would point to the sky and say, “there’s “Shallbelove.”
Next to Andy Rooney, my dad was the world’s biggest curmudgeon. While his motto was “if you’re going to do something, do it graciously” - and he did - he could also be extremely direct and was never afraid to be himself. His favorite outfit was ink stained sweatpants, a shirt with a felt marker in the pocket and a University of Texas baseball cap. (And that was on a dress-up day.) I could write pages and pages about my Dad, but instead I’ll tell you three things I’ve discovered about him over the past few days after his death.
1) Build people up. I recently told my dad that he worked hard at his friendships. He told me it wasn’t work. At a memorial get together held by his fellow “Coffee Klatch” members, a group he founded in 2013, I found out how much others will miss him, too. My dad built people up and encouraged communication even if you didn’t agree. And there were plenty of those times. His friend, PK Kaiser, the Arapahoe County Assessor credits my dad for helping him get elected. On his Facebook obituary, PK wrote, “What I am today is because of John Fulton. I never knew if John adopted me as an immigrant kid, a son, a friend, or a guinea pig for testing his political ideas. But in all roles, he did a lot to bring me to where I am today. He taught me everything, from handshaking to public speaking, to dress code, to improving my accent.”
2) Get involved. My dad started out as a news and PR guy, then switched to sales for the majority of his career. But it wasn’t until he retired that he found his true calling as a democrat involved in local politics serving as House Chair for District 40 in Arapahoe County, CO. He also volunteered at the local Dem office, campaigned over the phone and door-to-door and took doughnuts to candidates running for election. He started the “Coffee Klatch” group in 2013 so his fellow dems would have a low key way to meet and exchange ideas. They met at Panera once a month, the same place where we held his memorial service this past Tuesday. Not only did my dad’s volunteerism and commitment to a cause make a difference in local politics, it made him feel connected and gave him a purpose in life bigger than himself.
3) Live your own truth. Growing up with an independent thinking and direct dad was uncomfortable at times. But I came to find out this past week amongst his friends, colleagues and neighbors that people loved him not in spite of it, but because of it. While I think my dad underestimated his value, he was brave and courageous all the way to the end. Choosing to leave this earth on his own terms at home, without home care - thank goodness for Carol, a nurse who tended to him, Everett his best friend who visited him daily, Judy his housekeeper and Collette a neighbor who cooked him meals - my Dad completed his life on his own terms in the place he settled with my mom - his wife of 62 years to raise their two daughters and many, many cats.
As the days dwindled, we talked on the phone every day about our (daily) agendas. He shared what was happening with his health but never complained once about his ailments. We mostly talked sports, his love for University of Texas athletics, new favorite team, the Golden State Warriors and my team, the Boston Celtics. We also both happened to love Steph Curry.